Table for One

Amici 2010
nixasis

Me time at Amici this afternoon. I consumed the Canelloni Agli Spinaci with pleasure, took my sweet time reading Irene Nemirovsky's Suite Francaise and ended the simple fare with black coffee. I said no to the gelato which was an internal fight in itself. Self-control, such a hard act but it must be done.

I couldn't recall the last instance I spent time alone, which was probably light years ago. I've always been surrounded by people and the usual talk that ensued. I love the chatter, the friendly banter, the company. But I notice that as I grow older, I am seeking more time and space to be on my own---alone with a book, the sound of my guitar, and the humming thoughts that circle my mind. I feel that the pegs of my fickle brain are back in tune after a minute of silence. That these rare moments of solitude pulls me back to my center, where my sanity lies. I think more clearly, committing less impulsive actions that lead to unnecessary mistakes. I am energized. I am more at peace with myself. I am myself.

A table for one is not a pathetic sight. Really, it is not at all. Try it and you might find something in you that you can only hear without the excess clutter of noise, only in silence and solitude.