Solitude on Christmas Day

Terriyaki Boy 25Dec2010
nixasis

Saturday. Christmas. Every family is gathered at the table enjoying each other's company, sharing the bounty of the season. Kids eagerly open their gifts (still believing that all the toys come from Santa) while parents listen attentively to their children's tales of mishaps and conquests. Impeccable silverware, table covered in green and red, Christmas tree, carols in the background, and the aroma of the sumptuous meal ready to be partaken. That time of the year when everything's picture perfect or at least has a semblance of bliss.

I, on the other hand, am having lunch alone. Not a pitiful sight though. It's actually a gift I need. Having gone through major changes this year, I am blessed to have this brief opportunity to be by myself and take things at a slower pace. No need to rush for anything; just being in the moment.

As I wait for the miso soup and California maki to be served, I start thinking about the challenges and transitions I have encountered. Did I handle every situation in consciousness and with dignity? Have I taken full responsibility for the decisions I've made, never blaming others for the consequences? Was I able to face the repercussions of my actions head on and not once escaped? Did I learn from the past? Or did I forget the lessons?

Someone told me recently, "where you are now is where you are meant to be." I totally agree with him. Nothing occurs by chance; every event leads you closer to (or in some cases, far away from) your destination. Whether you go for what you want or pursue what you need to do is where freedom comes in. It is totally up to you. No one can manipulate you on how you're going to live your life. You are compelled, even obliged, to decide on your own who you aspire to be and how to reach your goal. What's important is that at the end of the day, you are able to courageously face the consequences of your actions, look back with no regrets and embrace who you have become in the process. And if things do not turn out as planned, never be afraid to let go of the old map and draft a new path. Everybody is a work in progress. We learn as we move along.

As I take a sip of barley tea and listen to the thoughts within, I am content with where I am and at peace with who I have become. Totally imperfect, a little bit bruised but still standing after the storm.