A Different Sunday

Southbound 2012
nixasis

7 am. The alarm clock shocks me with vengeance, determined to jolt my senses and put me in an upright position. I have been awake even before the set time. A half hour is spent tossing and turning under the sheets and looking at the ceiling cracks above. Despite my eyes being wide open, the clock gives me a kick to get out of bed. As soon as I shut the alarm off, I look outside the window and the Sun greets me with its radiant smile. The weather had been schizophrenic for days with the rain clouds chasing us in the morning and the scorching heat pestering us at noon. But today is a different story. The heavens must have heard my prayer the night before. The clear sky is a good omen indeed.

I've planned this weekend trip for weeks. Planned in a sense that I have a destination in mind and a purpose why I'm going there. But the itinerary is left to chance. Dealing with routines and deadlines chain me on a daily basis. Today, I want to do things differently. I want to be spontaneous. I want to be surprised by what Life has in store and go with the flow.

Armed with a child-like countenance and openness to what lies ahead, I hop into the car, start the engine, and embark on a solitary trip down South. The route is familiar. It is engraved in my mind as permanent as the lines on my palm. I have to admit, I'm excited to return to that place I hold dear in my heart. I am also scared because I know that I have turned into a person on the outside looking in, a little bit out of place, a lone stranger.

Billy Corgan suddenly sings in the background and keeps me company for a few minutes...

"Oh mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?"

The melody calms me; the words relieve me from my worries and pain. An unexplained liberation suddenly envelopes me. Time stands still. Solitude becomes my ally. And in this moment, the road and I are one. I am free.

I will never know what the future holds. But I cannot let the baggage of my past slow me down either. All I have is the present, along with the many surprises it offers. I shouldn't waste even a millisecond of this lifetime...for I realize that I already wasted a million hours in my clock. One can never take back a lost opportunity or embrace a past love. So I promise myself that I will never forget this day. Because today, I have a taste of what freedom truly is....carpe diem.